|
The old folks 5/3/2003
A husband and wife had been married many many years. They
made an appointment with their Dr. because it seemed like
they were always tired. The Dr. took both of them and gave
them each a thorough checkup. Then, he took them both into
his office to give them the news. He starts out by telling
them that he sees only 1 reason that they are so tired all
the time.
At your age, you have got to ...
0 Comments, 113 Views,
71 Votes
,6.87 Score |
|
High Sperm Count??????????? 4/30/2003
Q: How do you know if a man has a high sperm count?
<br>
A: On account of the fact that you have to chew before you
swallow
<br>
0 Comments, 28 Views,
66 Votes
,4.51 Score |
|
Woman goes into a bar .. 4/29/2003
This woman goes into a bar, sits on one of the stools, and
asks the barman for two beers. He serves her the two beers.
He watches her, she slowly drinks one, but tips the other
one in her lap. She leaves. Next day, she comes in again,
orders two beers, the barman again watches her drink one,
and tip the other one in her lap. Again she leaves. Third
day, comes into the bar, same order, ...
0 Comments, 12 Views,
56 Votes
,0.17 Score |
|
blow job 4/28/2003
male whale was swimming with a friendly famale whale when
he Knoticed a wahing ship on the high seas. he told his partner
that he hated whaling ships and that they ought to swim underneath
and blow as hard as they could until the ship broke into pieces.
this they agreed to but as the ship broke up many sailors
were tossed overboard . come said the male whale, lets bite
and kill those ...
0 Comments, 16 Views,
46 Votes
,2.59 Score |
|
An 80 yr old vigan lady goes to her doctor complaing of an itch in her crotch. 4/21/2003
The docotor dosn't want to have to look so he tells her
it's probably just the crabs. "what's that
?", she asks and he explains it. "no way, Im a
virgin." doc says "how in hell are you still
a virgin at 80 ? If i have to go in and look and all I find is the
crabs, i'm going to charge you double. she gets all
upset and leaves. 2nd day second doctor. "please
help me, i'm an 80 yr.old virgin ...
0 Comments, 28 Views,
60 Votes
,4.24 Score |
|
woman looks like 4/19/2003
Woman at 18 is like FOOTBALL, 22 men after her. At 28 BASKETBALL,
10 men after her. At 38 GOLFBALL , one man after her. At 48
TENNIS BALL, 2 men pushing her to other.
0 Comments, 101 Views,
70 Votes
,3.84 Score |
|
chinese couple has black baby... 4/17/2003
a chineses couple has a black baby.. what should they name
it??
<br>
sum tin wong .
<br>
9 months later, she has a white baby. husband files for a
divorce, and gets everything he asks for from the judge
. why is this fair ?
<br>
<br>
two wongs dont make a white
0 Comments, 51 Views,
87 Votes
,5.53 Score |
|
Why Do Women Have 2 Sets Of Lips? 4/15/2003
Why do women have 2 sets of lips??
<br>
Because they always like to "piss and moan"
at the same time ~yooperemt~
0 Comments, 14 Views,
85 Votes
,5.18 Score |
|
Alice limerick 3/31/2003
There once was a lady named Alice
Who used a dynamite stick for a phallus
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Dallas
2 Comments, 22 Views,
28 Votes
,4.58 Score |
|
Fellow from Kent 3/31/2003
There once was a fellow from Kent
Whose dick was so long that it bent
To save himself trouble
He put it in double
So instead of cumming he went!
3 Comments, 33 Views,
18 Votes
,2.85 Score |
|
Limerick 3/30/2003
There was a young lad from Nantucket.
With a peter so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin,
As he whiped off his chin,
If t'would bend up my ass I would fuck it!
0 Comments, 10 Views,
36 Votes
,4.36 Score |
|
Gates 3/25/2003
"the Rich"
<br>
come to gates wreaking of wealth.
Peter enters choking out the words,
"smells like dirty laundry".
NO, that is impossible, I've always had the finest
or should I say, the cleaniness goods.
Peter replies, slow down boy, I was just needling.
1 Comments, 44 Views,
26 Votes
|
|
Gates 3/25/2003
<br>
Musician:come to gates ringing the bell.
Peter:"don't do that, it's not time to
eat, besides,
we don't want the angels to hear you".
Musician play that bad?
Peter:"that bad, you were killing them down there,
man"!
1 Comments, 47 Views,
18 Votes
|
|
Gates 3/25/2003
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
Minister:comes to the gates calling out, "anybody
home"?
Peter:"nobody home, come back after the mail arrives".
Minister:when the mail arrives?
Peter:"yes, when the mail arrives"?
Minister no, let me explain?
Peter:"send your explanation to the Lord, you can
...
1 Comments, 27 Views,
16 Votes
|
|
Gotta take a shit first 3/19/2003
A man is on a flight from Toronto to Los Angeles. As they take
off, the captain comes on the P.A. system and says "This
is your captain John Smith speaking. I'd like to take
the time to thank you for flying Air Canada, flight 666 from
Toronto to Los Angeles. We will be flying at 35, 000 feet
with an air speed of 650 miles per hour. If any of you have
further questions about the flight, just ...
1 Comments, 233 Views,
64 Votes
,6.99 Score |
|
MEN & WOMEN 3/17/2003
Why do MEN walk more and WOMEN talk more ???????
GUESS???? GUESS WHY ????? It is realy easy !!!!! Because
MEN have THREE legs and WOMEN have FOUR lips.
1 Comments, 57 Views,
48 Votes
,4.62 Score |
|
Deaf girl 3/16/2003
Man marries deaf girl. He mimes: “let’s make a code: if I
want sex, I will squeeze your breast. In response, u can
pull my penis, once for yes, and 50 times for no.”
0 Comments, 57 Views,
81 Votes
,7.40 Score |
|
Nuns Vacation 3/15/2003
Three nuns preparing for an outside mission were told by
the preist that they must first purify themselves if they
had touched any private parts of a man by washing their hands
in the holy water. The first shyly walked up and washed her
fingers in the water and said "it was just once"
the preist asked the second to proceed when all of the sudden
the third pushed her out of the way and ran ...
1 Comments, 61 Views,
41 Votes
,7.00 Score |
|
Treatment of Viagra 3/14/2003
Teacher in class asked the : who knows for what is the
viagra?
One raised his hand and say: "for diarrhea sir!"
Teacher said:" how did you know?"
replay: "last night I heard my mother shout to
dad take a tablet of viagra may be your bloody shit will stop”.
0 Comments, 38 Views,
39 Votes
|
|
First Blow Job 3/14/2003
Fellow walks into a bar, sits down and demands of the bartender,
" Joe, gimme two shots of Jack Daniels."
Joe pours the shots and the customer drinks them.
"Joe, gimme two more shots, and hurry!"
Joe pours two more and says, "Gee, Tom you usually
only drink beer."
Tom replies, "Yeah, that's right but I need two
more shots. FAST!!"
Joe pours the next two and asks, " Well why the ...
1 Comments, 47 Views,
67 Votes
,4.86 Score |
|
Double Duty 3/12/2003
A woman is going at it with her husband's best friend
one af
ternoon when suddenly the phone rings.she hops out of bed
to
answer it, ''hello... OK, BYE''.
''Who was that?''ask the guy.
''just my husband, '' she replies.
''Oh, shit.i'd better get going.did he
say where he was?is he coming home?''
''Dont worry, ''says the wife.''he
said he's down at the bar playing a few games of pool ...
0 Comments, 25 Views,
47 Votes
,7.18 Score |
|
Look O'The Irish 3/12/2003
Wath's green, two miles long, and has an asshole
every two feet?
A:THE ST.PATRICK DAY PARADE.
0 Comments, 6 Views,
20 Votes
,0.70 Score |
|
WHERE DOES VIRGIN WOOL COME FROM? 3/12/2003
UGLY SHEEP.
0 Comments, 10 Views,
19 Votes
,3.26 Score |
|
teddy bears 3/12/2003
An attractive woman is sitting in a bar when she sees a man
she just has to meet. She signals the waitress and buys him
a beer. The man joins her and they start talking. One thing
leads to another and the next thing she knows she is in his
apartment and things are getting steamy. They head for
the bedroom and she gets the shock of her life. The room is
FILLED with teddy bears. Big ...
1 Comments, 52 Views,
29 Votes
,6.05 Score |
|
BILL GATES 3/11/2003
What did the say to Bill Gates while he was undressing??
"Now I know why you called it Microsoft!"
0 Comments, 34 Views,
40 Votes
,6.51 Score |
|
Santa Clause 3/11/2003
A small boy wrote to Santa Clause "send me a brother"
Santa Clause wrote back " send me your mother"
0 Comments, 16 Views,
21 Votes
,5.85 Score |
|
worms 3/11/2003
Little Tommy was playing with an earthworm in the back of
his grandparents' house. Grandpa comes out and watches
him for a while. Then he says, "Tommy, I bet ya five
dollars you can't get that worm to go back in the hole."
Tommy thinks for a minute, then goes in to the house. He comes
out a minute later with Grandma's hairspray. He holds
the worm by one end, sprays it with hairspray, ...
1 Comments, 41 Views,
16 Votes
,4.30 Score |
|
understanding women 3/11/2003
A man is shipwrecked on a desert island, and walks the beach
every morining to see is anything useful has washed up.
One morning he finds a lamp. He figures what the hell, and
sure enough, when he rubs it out pops the genie. "I
will grant your wish, oh Master", says the genie.
The man thinks for a bit, then says, "Ya know, I have
been here for a couple of years, and this island is not ...
1 Comments, 66 Views,
52 Votes
,8.41 Score |
|
Little Johnny and Grandma take a walk 3/9/2003
Little Johnny and his grandmother were walking around
town one day when they came across two dogs fucking on the
sidewalk. Johnny asked his grandmother what they were
doing. She was very embarrassed so she said "The top
hur his paw so the one underneath him is carrying him
to the doctor." Johnny looked at her and said "They're
just like people are'nt they?" "What do
you mean?" grandma ...
0 Comments, 119 Views,
79 Votes
,8.53 Score |
|
Blind Flight 3/9/2003
A blind man was traveling in his private jet when he realized
that something was wrong. He made his way up to the cockpit
but could get no response from the pilot. He felt around
until he located the radio "Help Me! Help Me! I'm
blind, the pilot is dead, and we are flying upside down"
he screamed into it. The Tower comes back and asks him "How
do you know your upside down?" The blind man ...
0 Comments, 28 Views,
37 Votes
,7.05 Score |